Letters

How I loved to get your letters
with their touch of tenderness,
but doubts tied my dreams like fetters
and I really was in a mess.
An unrest caused both smiles and frowns
as I was on my way to you
with the prospect to see you again.
And I was scared as I arrived at your hometown
and asked for a rendezvous,
but your smile beautified even the rain.

This certain electrical serenity
we shared in so many ways
and the romantic- playful familiarity
enchanted the following days.
And again I was captured by your charm,
with the looks, the “bewach-ken“ and I confess
as you put your hand upon mine
and as you were sleeping in my arms
and I listened to your breath
a cosy happiness began to shine.

And yes, you really grieved me with your point of view
that put me on a par with the lad who hurt you.
Why do you fear that you would hurt by me, too ?
Why didn´t  you give me a chance with you ?
Did it ever occur to you what pain your answer would bring  ?
Why did you see only difficulties?
Why didn´t you speak with me ?
Why did you reduce everything
to: "trying to make me feeling guilty ?"
Why didn´t you trust me ?

And who could be astonished
that after all I was going through
I was annoyed and almost wished
that I had never met you.
But even after all these thoughts, which were bitter and mirt
I can´t forget you and instead
that my feelings get drowned in the pain
I´m longing for you so much that its hurts
and that fulfills me with dread,
but then the realisation remains:

I still love you,
after all that time gone by,
I still love you,
after all- the tears did dry.
Yes, it´s true
I am still in love with you.

I´m already beginning to fear
that the tender attachment 
in your letters will disappear,
replaced by cool detachment.
You left me no hope- that´s true-
so what else could I expect
than unconcern and the same: "No"
if you see in everything I say and do
nothing else but disrespect.
But even though you don´t want to know:

I still love you,
after all that time gone by,
I still love you,
after all- the tears did dry.
Yes, it´s true
I am still in love with you